Human beings fascinate me. The amount of difficulty we can tolerate rather than being prepared to potentially step outside our ‘comfort’ zone and explore alternatives is incredibly high. Familiarity brings comfort because we know what we’re dealing with even if we’re getting very stressed, anxious or depressed about it. We may work in a toxic environment, we don’t respect our manager, we feel underappreciated for what we do, we don’t feel that the work we’re doing is important, we don’t feel that we ‘fit in’ with the company we work for, we’re not sleeping at night, we’re finding it hard to switch off, we’re frustrated by…, etc etc.
It might be easy to spot the signs of your best friend or partner’s unhappiness but sometimes we put our head down and just keep going. It can seem easier than trying to address the situation. I’ve done this before myself so I really understand this strategy. Unfortunately it’s often a strategy to more unhappiness or burn out in my experience!
These are the most common reasons people stay as they are:
1. You haven’t got time to think about what you might do to change your job situation
2.You don’t feel that you have the spare cash to invest in some help
3. It’s not the right time – there’s too much else going on in other areas of your life.
4. You’re waiting for something/someone to change things for you.
5. You’re afraid (of the unknown, of failing, of becoming homeless, of making the wrong decision, etc etc)
6. You’ve already decided there aren’t any alternatives so what’s the point in paying someone to tell you that
Let’s look at these in a bit more detail.
You haven’t got time to think about what you might do to change your job situation – It can easily feel like that especially if you’re spending time thinking about your job when you’re not actually doing it. Some clients tell me they didn’t want to spend even more time thinking about their job situation by having coaching and subsequently spent another few years dreading going to work instead. The likelihood is that without giving your situation some attention, you’ll find it hard to make a new decision about your job/career or you run the risk of jumping into something else that comes along without fully thinking through what you really want or could do instead.
You don’t feel that you have the spare cash to invest in some help – I know this one well. Spending money on coaching very much depends on our individual money mindset which is often based on the messages we were given about money during our upbringing. If you’re down to the wire financially, that’s one thing but for many people it’s likely to boil down to priorities – an unused monthly gym membership is likely to pay for a coaching session to help you reassess your job/career and potentially increase your wellbeing for example. Having said that career coaches charge varying amounts. I’verecently been talking with a potential client who has done lots of research into career coaches and has discovered packages varying from £150 to £2k. I’m at the lower end by a long chalk and people can spread payments if it helps with budgeting as I want to be accessible to as many people as possible including those on incomes under £20k.
It’s not the right time – there’s too much else going on in other areas of your life – There’s no doubt that reviewing your career, making some new decisions, taking some action, potentially starting a new job/career path requires energy. We all have differing amounts of how many big life changes we feel we can take on at once. If you’re having a baby, moving house, moving to a new area, you may decide to wait until you feel you’ve got some head space. Again, a very personal thing.
You’re waiting for something/someone to change things for you – e.g. your manager leaving, being offered voluntary redundancy, a merger etc. This is a decision in its own right. You might see the positives as not having to take the time and energy to make a new decision. It might of course work out, it might not. You might adopt this strategy for a while but I’d suggest sticking a review date in your diary to review whether you’re still happy with the decision to ‘see what happens’ 6 months from now.
You’re afraid of Insert a word of your choice here – e.g. the unknown, of failing, of becoming homeless, of making the wrong decision at your time of life, etc etc. Fear is the most common reason why people don’t try to resolve their career difficulties and is usually a fearful thought for which there is no evidence. The fear that interests me the most from meeting with clients is that regardless of whether the client is in their 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s many have been fearful of making the wrong decision ‘at their time of life’. I would advise you to write down a list of your fears and consider if each happened, what you would actually do. That’s all you need to do. You’ve got your strategies in place now so you don’t really need to give your fears any more attention.
You’ve already decided there aren’t any alternatives so what’s the point in paying someone to tell you that – A coach certainly won’t be telling you anything but working with a coach can help you generate new ideas. I know that some of the things I’m particularly good at is helping clients to see their abilities and strengths and everything they have to offer an employer, to believe something else is possible, to increase a client’s sense of what they can do. This usually leads to clients seeing new possibilities for themselves. Because they’d got stuck in their thinking (as we all do at times) they hadn’t considered these options before.
I know I’ve let some of these reasons stand in my way at times in my own career and a year later I’m still in the same place kicking myself for not taking action sooner.
Taking the first step is often the hardest though. Take your first step by booking an initial free consultation with me today: https://calendly.com/lindseycarrcareerconsultant/discovery-consultation.